Do you have money disoder

Just about everyone has a complicated relationship
with money. Studies show that money is the no. 1
reason for divorce in the early years of marriage
and a common area of conflict for couples. Even
before the recession, 3 out of 4 Americans
identified money as the no. 1 source of stress in their lives. Financial strain has been found to
reduce relationship satisfaction, worsen depression,
and lead to emotional problems, health difficulties,
and poor work performance. With record high debt
and record low savings rates in the years leading
up to the economic crisis, the average American seemed to suffer from a money disorder. Money disorders are persistent patterns of self- destructive and self-limiting financial behaviors.
They result from distorted beliefs about money we
develop from our financial flashpoint experiences.
Financial flashpoints are painful, distressing, and/or
dramatic life events associated with money that are
so emotionally powerful, they leave an imprint that lasts into adulthood. Financial flashpoints become
the foundation of our financial struggles. Whether it's a childhood of poverty or want, a
message about money subconsciously internalized
from a parent, a nest egg lost to an economic
downturn later in life, or someone rushing in at the
last moment to save the economic day, everyone
has experienced a financial flashpoint in their lives. Recognizing them is the first step in stripping them
of their power, and overcoming our money
disorders. Then we can learn to identify our money
beliefs, spot them when they are creeping into our
minds, and revise them into healthier, more
productive ones. In Mind Over Money , we describe 3 categories of money disorders: 1. Money Avoidance Disorders (also includes
Underspending and Excessive Risk Aversion): Financial Denial: When, rather than face financial
reality, we try to minimize money problems by
refusing to think about them all together (e.g.
avoiding looking at a bank statement or paying a
credit card bill). Financial Rejection: The experience of guilt
whenever money, of any amount, is accrued.
People with low self-esteem are particularly prone
to this disorder, and it leads to a whole host of
financial and psychological troubles. 2. Money-Worshipping Disorders (also includes
Pathological Gambling, Workaholism, and
Overspending): Hoarding: When stockpiling objects or money
provides a sense of safety, security, and relief of
anxiety. Compulsive Buying: Compulsive buying is
overspending on steroids. Compulsive shoppers are
consumed by their money worries. They often
learned, early in life, that the ritual of shopping
provides a temporary escape from worry and
anxiety. When they think about and anticipate the pleasure they will feel when they shop, dopamine, a
"feel good" chemical, floods their brains-only to
wear off quickly, leaving them craving another fix. 3. Relational Money Disorders (also includes
Financial Dependence and Financial Incest): Financial Infidelity: Telling "little green lies" about
one's spending or finances to one's partner, like
making purchases outside an agreed-upon budget
or lying about the cost of a big-ticket item. Extreme
examples might include taking out a second
mortgage behind your partner's back or opening a secret bank account. Financial Enabling: Giving money to others whether
you can afford it or not; giving when it is not in the
other's long-term best interest; having trouble or
finding it impossible to say no to requests for
money; and/or even sacrificing one's own financial
wellbeing for the sake of others. A common example is when parents support adult children who
should be able to support themselves. Financial
Enabling becomes increasingly common among
family members in a down economy, when there is
sense of guilt about less fortunate relatives. The basics of financial health aren't complicated,
and we are all capable of mastering them, no
matter who we are, or our level of wealth. When we
identify our financial flashpoint experiences,
challenge our distorted money beliefs, and practice
healthy financial behaviors (e.g. maintain reasonable and low debt, have an active savings
plan, as well as following a spending plan), we don't
just become materially richer-we become
emotionally wealthier as well.