After IVF, my wife has affair and gets pregnant

This guy has had a vasectomy, and writes that he and his wife...

...have been through 5 cycles of IVF without success and this (as you can imagine) has caused great stress in our relationship both emotionally and financially. A few months ago we decided that perhaps donor treatment was worth looking into, and we were in the process of looking for a good clinic and going over all the possible problems and safegaurds.

Anyway this evening my partner informs me that 3 1/2 weeks ago she slept with a work colleauge and as a result is pregnant. She tried to sell this outcome to me by saying that its the same as donor treatment only it was much cheaper and that i should find it in my heart to accept the outcome and be happy for her.

To be brutally honest i did not take this news with a patient and calm demenour and instead basically said that not only can i not accept the outcome, but really cannot continue a relationship where my partner would do such a selfish thing. I understand that the drive for a woman to have children is a very strong and all consuming desire, but my point was that if this was a route that she wanted to take, then perhaps trying the donor treatment first would have been the best thing to do, and that failing that, at least given me the oppertunity to voice my opinion.

Am i being too harsh ? I am totally torn in two now, the woman I love has forced me to make a choice between bringing up a child who is the result of an illicit affair, or walking away, either way i think i am looking at a long hard road of unhappines.

Well that's it really, its 5am, I been awake all night and feel like a rabbit in the headlights not knowing where to turn.

Your sage advice would be most welcome.

Dave

xhttp://www.loveshack.org/forums/t209297/

Clearly, she slept with the co-worker in order to get pregnant.

THE RING.