My husband's affair SAVED our marriage: Mum explains why their bond is stronger than ever
Rock solid: Karen hugs Mike at home
Phoenix Photo Agency
By Mirror | 19 Jul 2013 00:00
Devoted Karen Parks had been a loving wife for years when her husband swapped the family run-about for a sports car – and suddenly traded her in for a younger model.
It is the kind of humiliation few women would be able to forgive.
But six months later when Mike tried to patch things up, instead of sending him packing, the mum-of-three took him back.
Some would call it weakness, but incredibly Karen insists it was the making of their relationship, and has made the 11-year marriage stronger than ever.
“It made us realise how much we loved one another and how we couldn’t live without each other,” says Karen, 32.
“I can see now that we were both beginning to take our marriage for granted. But now we know how lucky we are.
“I know a lot of women won’t agree with me but I believe Mike has learned the hard way that lust can’t replace love.
"I know he’ll never jeopardise our happy family again.”
Karen’s side of the family have not yet forgiven businessman Mike, 33. But Karen says their marriage was meant to last and the affair was just the jolt they needed to make it happen.
Instead of being full of remorse for his cheating, Mike feels the same as his wife.
He says: “I don’t regret having an affair as it’s made our relationship stronger.
“Looking back, I think I was having an early mid-life crisis. Karen’s the love of my life and we’re happier than ever now.”
The couple were teenagers when they met in a nightclub in their hometown of Southport, Merseyside, in 1998.
“I was blown away by him,” recalls Karen. “He was gorgeous, charming and ambitious. I knew instantly that he was ‘the one’.”
Two years after moving in together, they married in August 2002. Karen says she felt like the luckiest woman alive.
She adds: “I was so happy. I felt like the cat who’d got the cream. Mike was a family man and wanted to have lots of children.
"We were delighted when I got pregnant in 2005 with our first, and decided to have another baby in early 2007.”
The first sign of any cracks appeared a few months after the birth of their third daughter in December 2009.
Karen says: “Mike changed. He became distant and withdrawn and didn’t seem interested in family life.
"At first I thought I was imagining it and blamed it on my hormones – but my woman’s intuition was ringing warning bells.
“One night when we were out with friends, Mike went to the bar and got himself a drink but didn’t get me one.
"It may sound trivial, but Mike used to treat me like a princess – he’d never forget to buy me a drink.”
Karen became even more suspicious after her husband began staying out and drinking heavily, something he had never done before. Months later she was forced to confront reality.
She says: “It was a beautiful day in August and we took the girls to a family Christening.
"Afterwards, instead of coming home with me and the kids, Mike said he was going out with his friends.
“He was a family man and seldom went out drinking. I knew something was wrong but I prayed I was imagining things.”
The following night Mike said he was going to meet friends again and disappeared. Karen tried to ring him several times but to no avail.
As the minutes turned into hours, her imagination ran riot. “I called every hospital in the area and even reported him missing to the police,” she says.
“The next morning a friend texted me and asked if I was OK. I called her and told her he’d not come home and that I feared something bad had happened to him.
"I was crying down the phone. To my horror, she told me she’d spotted Mike in town the night before, looking cosy with another girl.
“I fell to the floor, curled into the foetal position and sobbed. I immediately knew who it was – an acquaintance of his. She was pretty and much younger than me.”
Pulling herself together, Karen got her daughters out of bed. The girls were still in their pyjamas when she dropped them off at her parents’ house.
Karen went back home and waited. And she immediately confronted Mike when he finally walked through the front door the following morning.
She says: “At first he was cold, but eventually he admitted he was having an affair.”
Despite her heartbreak and anger, Karen begged Mike not to leave. She says: “I wanted to work through our problems.
"I kept telling him he was having an early mid-life crisis, and that we loved each other and our family was worth fighting for.
“But to my horror he replied calmly, saying he hadn’t been happy for some time and needed space. It was soul-destroying.
“How could two people in one marriage view it so differently? When I married him it was for life – but now he was turning his back on years of marriage for a piece of fluff. I couldn’t believe it.”
After Mike packed his bags and left, the days rolled into weeks.
Karen heard through the grapevine that Mike’s new girlfriend had moved into the one-bed flat he was now renting. He also traded in his family car for a sporty Toyota Celica.
Karen says: “It was a very difficult time. I felt desperately low and, of course, the kids missed him.
"I barely spoke to him because although he still saw the kids, our parents were the go-betweens.”
However, things suddenly changed in November 2010 when Mike had a serious car accident while driving.
He was not hurt but the crash made him reassess his life. Firstly, he ended his new relationship.
Then he invited Karen round to his flat. It was the first time they had met up since the split.
Karen recalls: “As soon as we saw each other again, the old feelings came flooding back. At first, we sat down and just cried together.
"Then we agreed we still loved each other and he said he’d made a terrible mistake throwing everything away.
“He wanted another chance with me but I knew my family would be against it.
"They didn’t want me to take him back after everything he’d put me through.”
Nonetheless, Karen met Mike for dinner the following night. “It was perfect,” she says.
“I realised there and then how much I wanted our family back together and asked him to come home. I wanted to pretend the last six months hadn’t happened.
“Mike was crying and apologising for all the hurt he’d caused. To see him so upset really hit me. He was usually such a joker. I’d never seen him so cut up.”
A few days later they booked a two-week family holiday to Tenerife. On their return, Mike gave Karen a present she had always wanted – he agreed to pay £4,500 for her to have a boob job.
Karen insists the extravagant gesture was not the reason she forgave him, adding: “I’d always hated my flat chest and it gave me the confidence boost I needed.”
But Karen’s parents and sister could not forgive Mike. “They refused to be in the same room as him,” says Karen.
“I hope in time they’ll come round. If I can forgive, so can they. I try not to dwell on what happened or throw it back in his face in arguments.
"I know he has no contact with the girl now and that’s enough for me.
“I can’t say I’ll ever understand why Mike strayed, to me we were happily married.
"The affair was extremely painful but some good things came out of it. We communicate more now and are stronger than ever.
“I’m so glad we gave our marriage a second chance. I know people may think I was soft to take him back but you have to work at marriage. It’s not an easy ride.
“I know he won’t stray again – because if he did, that would be the end. I wouldn’t forgive him twice.”
It is the kind of humiliation few women would be able to forgive.
But six months later when Mike tried to patch things up, instead of sending him packing, the mum-of-three took him back.
Some would call it weakness, but incredibly Karen insists it was the making of their relationship, and has made the 11-year marriage stronger than ever.
“It made us realise how much we loved one another and how we couldn’t live without each other,” says Karen, 32.
“I can see now that we were both beginning to take our marriage for granted. But now we know how lucky we are.
“I know a lot of women won’t agree with me but I believe Mike has learned the hard way that lust can’t replace love.
"I know he’ll never jeopardise our happy family again.”
Karen’s side of the family have not yet forgiven businessman Mike, 33. But Karen says their marriage was meant to last and the affair was just the jolt they needed to make it happen.
Instead of being full of remorse for his cheating, Mike feels the same as his wife.
He says: “I don’t regret having an affair as it’s made our relationship stronger.
“Looking back, I think I was having an early mid-life crisis. Karen’s the love of my life and we’re happier than ever now.”
The couple were teenagers when they met in a nightclub in their hometown of Southport, Merseyside, in 1998.
“I was blown away by him,” recalls Karen. “He was gorgeous, charming and ambitious. I knew instantly that he was ‘the one’.”
Two years after moving in together, they married in August 2002. Karen says she felt like the luckiest woman alive.
She adds: “I was so happy. I felt like the cat who’d got the cream. Mike was a family man and wanted to have lots of children.
"We were delighted when I got pregnant in 2005 with our first, and decided to have another baby in early 2007.”
The first sign of any cracks appeared a few months after the birth of their third daughter in December 2009.
Karen says: “Mike changed. He became distant and withdrawn and didn’t seem interested in family life.
"At first I thought I was imagining it and blamed it on my hormones – but my woman’s intuition was ringing warning bells.
“One night when we were out with friends, Mike went to the bar and got himself a drink but didn’t get me one.
"It may sound trivial, but Mike used to treat me like a princess – he’d never forget to buy me a drink.”
Karen became even more suspicious after her husband began staying out and drinking heavily, something he had never done before. Months later she was forced to confront reality.
She says: “It was a beautiful day in August and we took the girls to a family Christening.
"Afterwards, instead of coming home with me and the kids, Mike said he was going out with his friends.
“He was a family man and seldom went out drinking. I knew something was wrong but I prayed I was imagining things.”
The following night Mike said he was going to meet friends again and disappeared. Karen tried to ring him several times but to no avail.
As the minutes turned into hours, her imagination ran riot. “I called every hospital in the area and even reported him missing to the police,” she says.
“The next morning a friend texted me and asked if I was OK. I called her and told her he’d not come home and that I feared something bad had happened to him.
"I was crying down the phone. To my horror, she told me she’d spotted Mike in town the night before, looking cosy with another girl.
“I fell to the floor, curled into the foetal position and sobbed. I immediately knew who it was – an acquaintance of his. She was pretty and much younger than me.”
Pulling herself together, Karen got her daughters out of bed. The girls were still in their pyjamas when she dropped them off at her parents’ house.
Karen went back home and waited. And she immediately confronted Mike when he finally walked through the front door the following morning.
She says: “At first he was cold, but eventually he admitted he was having an affair.”
Despite her heartbreak and anger, Karen begged Mike not to leave. She says: “I wanted to work through our problems.
"I kept telling him he was having an early mid-life crisis, and that we loved each other and our family was worth fighting for.
“But to my horror he replied calmly, saying he hadn’t been happy for some time and needed space. It was soul-destroying.
“How could two people in one marriage view it so differently? When I married him it was for life – but now he was turning his back on years of marriage for a piece of fluff. I couldn’t believe it.”
After Mike packed his bags and left, the days rolled into weeks.
Karen heard through the grapevine that Mike’s new girlfriend had moved into the one-bed flat he was now renting. He also traded in his family car for a sporty Toyota Celica.
Karen says: “It was a very difficult time. I felt desperately low and, of course, the kids missed him.
"I barely spoke to him because although he still saw the kids, our parents were the go-betweens.”
However, things suddenly changed in November 2010 when Mike had a serious car accident while driving.
He was not hurt but the crash made him reassess his life. Firstly, he ended his new relationship.
Then he invited Karen round to his flat. It was the first time they had met up since the split.
Karen recalls: “As soon as we saw each other again, the old feelings came flooding back. At first, we sat down and just cried together.
"Then we agreed we still loved each other and he said he’d made a terrible mistake throwing everything away.
“He wanted another chance with me but I knew my family would be against it.
"They didn’t want me to take him back after everything he’d put me through.”
Nonetheless, Karen met Mike for dinner the following night. “It was perfect,” she says.
“I realised there and then how much I wanted our family back together and asked him to come home. I wanted to pretend the last six months hadn’t happened.
“Mike was crying and apologising for all the hurt he’d caused. To see him so upset really hit me. He was usually such a joker. I’d never seen him so cut up.”
A few days later they booked a two-week family holiday to Tenerife. On their return, Mike gave Karen a present she had always wanted – he agreed to pay £4,500 for her to have a boob job.
Karen insists the extravagant gesture was not the reason she forgave him, adding: “I’d always hated my flat chest and it gave me the confidence boost I needed.”
But Karen’s parents and sister could not forgive Mike. “They refused to be in the same room as him,” says Karen.
“I hope in time they’ll come round. If I can forgive, so can they. I try not to dwell on what happened or throw it back in his face in arguments.
"I know he has no contact with the girl now and that’s enough for me.
“I can’t say I’ll ever understand why Mike strayed, to me we were happily married.
"The affair was extremely painful but some good things came out of it. We communicate more now and are stronger than ever.
“I’m so glad we gave our marriage a second chance. I know people may think I was soft to take him back but you have to work at marriage. It’s not an easy ride.
“I know he won’t stray again – because if he did, that would be the end. I wouldn’t forgive him twice.”
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