My ex-soldier husband Trevor is becoming a woman - and she's still the love of my life
Support: Trevor has become Treva with the help of wife Victoria
Sunday Mirror/ Philip Coburn
By | 9 Jun 2013 00:00
Browsing through a rack of summer dresses, Victoria and Treva look like girlfriends on a shopping spree.
But Treva used to be Trevor – a hard-bitten Army veteran who saw action in the Falklands... and Victoria is her wife.
Yet despite Treva’s decision to change sex, taking hormones which have caused her to grow B-cup breasts, they say they are happier than ever as a couple.
Now mum-of-three Victoria, 39, is helping Treva, 41, to live as a woman. “With Treva, I have the best of both worlds,” says Victoria.
“She is still the love of my life, the same person inside, but now I also have a best friend who I can talk about make-up and clothes with. Of course I was absolutely shocked when she first told me.
“But now we are both going through the journey of her sex change together. I am as thrilled as she is to see her developing breasts and a new figure.”
Treva, who out of desperation to become a woman once took Victoria’s contraceptive pills, says: “Telling Victoria I wanted to change sex was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. It is such a relief that she is standing by me.”
Now the couple even share their wardrobe.
“We both have a huge passion for shoes,” says Victoria. “We often swap clothes – we have the same tastes. We both love casual clothes, although Treva prefers to wear full make-up every day and always has her nails perfectly manicured.”
Treva has also had plastic surgery to look more feminine. The couple took out a £4,500 loan, and seven weeks ago she had an op to make her nose smaller. She also plans to have £3,500 surgery to make her forehead less prominent.
Victoria first met Trevor when they were at school in Boston, Lincolnshire. She was 13, he was 15... and there were no sign he was anything but masculine.
She says: “Trevor was known as a tough bloke who everyone looked up to and no one would cross. I developed quite a crush on him and for a few weeks we had a typical teenage romance with a few stolen kisses.”
But within a few weeks Trevor had left town, signing up with the Royal Engineers. Over the next 23 years he became a Lance Corporal, serving in Bosnia, Kenya and the Falklands.
“I married and had a son, now aged 21,” says Victoria, who works as a carer.
“When that marriage ended I met someone else and had two more children, who are now 10 and six. Trevor also had various girlfriends and married when he was 24.”
But they never forgot each other and kept in touch for those two decades. “Trevor would suddenly ring out of the blue and when he was back on leave we’d sometimes meet up,” Victoria says. “Sometimes years went by when we didn’t see one another.
“When we did, the attraction was incredibly strong but nothing happened because each time one of us was with someone else.”
However, in September 2006 Victoria received an email from Trevor that rocked her world... telling her he wanted to become a woman.
Shocked, Victoria emailed back to ask if he was joking.
But, she says: “When he sent me photos of painted nails I knew it was for real.” Treva says: “Ever since I was a teenager I’d always felt something wasn’t right because I didn’t seem to fit with men or women.
“But in those days there was no information about men who wanted to become women.
“So I kept any feelings to myself. There was no way I could have confided at the time to any of my Army colleagues.
“I’d always had a secret stash of women’s clothes. My first wife had no idea but when she went out I’d sometimes dress up in them and just sit around the house.
“In hindsight it was the only time I felt truly comfortable.”
After the revelation, the number of emails between Victoria and Trevor dwindled. For three years they lost touch altogether and Treva admits she was worried that their friendship had been ruined.
But by May 2010, Trevor’s 15-year marriage had ended and when he emailed her out of the blue, Victoria’s relationship with her youngest children’s father was on the rocks too.
Treva says: “I’d never been able to get Victoria out of my mind. She’d always been the one person I could confide in.”
Victoria was thrilled to be back in touch with Trevor.
She says: “Talking with him I realised it didn’t matter he still wanted to change sex. He was my first love, a soulmate.”
Shortly after Victoria’s partner moved out she started dating Trevor. Then, on New Year’s Eve 2011, Victoria made him up as a woman for the first time. She says: “It was a very intimate moment – and I proposed.
“Years ago Trevor had asked me to marry him but I turned him down because I’d only just come out of my first marriage. Now the time was right. I was delighted when he accepted.”
Within six months she and her children moved to live with Trevor, who was still living as a man at his Army base in Waterbeach, Cambridgeshire.
And in September 2011 they married in a small register office ceremony.
“On our wedding day Trevor was still living as a man... and we made love as man and wife. No one knew our secret but I already knew that I’d support him with his change of sex.”
Soon afterwards Trevor retired from the Army and started to dress as a woman every day.
Victoria says: “I could immediately see how much happier Trevor was as a woman. As a man he was a typical quiet reserved British man but as Treva she was much more outgoing, chatty and relaxed.”
The first step of the transformation was to get rid of body hair. “That took a whole day,” says Victoria.
“Then she began taking my contraceptive pills, which I’d researched on the internet could help male-to-female transsexuals.
“The female hormones helped her to start to grow breasts, softened her skin and thickened her hair.” Then they went shopping together, with Victoria helping 5ft 7in Treva to choose clothes to flatter her figure and apply make-up.
They also visited the children’s school to tell teachers about the sex change.
“We were honest with the children,” says Victoria. “We simply told them that Trevor felt he was a woman trapped in a man’s body and was going to change sex.
“The school has been completely supportive and the children, who still regularly see their dad, who has remarried, have accepted Treva,” she says.
Despite this, Victoria admits she and Treva do sometimes get odd looks and stares when they go out together. “We decided it was because some of Treva’s facial features were still quite masculine. She had a large nose for a woman and we both decided it would look more feminine if she had cosmetic surgery to make it smaller.”
Now, instead of contraceptive pills, Treva takes female hormones, which Victoria has found for sale online.
“As well as breasts, she has a more womanly shape with hips and a smaller waist,” she says.
Treva now hopes to have implant surgery to create larger breasts, and to be accepted on to the NHS waiting list for gender reassignment surgery to remove her penis and create a vagina.
The couple, who live in Peterborough, admit many friends and family were initially shocked. “Trevor was the last man anyone would ever imagine would want to become a woman,” says Victoria.
“But now people have got to know Treva, they are more understanding. In fact some of our friends are old Army colleagues.
“They still call Treva her old Army nickname, Arthur Askey, but no one bats an eyelid now.”
They plan to stay married and Victoria is writing a book about their experience.
Victoria adds: “As Treva has taken the hormones, she can no longer make love as a man.
“But as two women together we still do have an intimate and sexual relationship. To me she is the same wonderful person.
“In fact we are happier than ever together. Trevor becoming Treva has only brought us closer.”
But Treva used to be Trevor – a hard-bitten Army veteran who saw action in the Falklands... and Victoria is her wife.
Yet despite Treva’s decision to change sex, taking hormones which have caused her to grow B-cup breasts, they say they are happier than ever as a couple.
Now mum-of-three Victoria, 39, is helping Treva, 41, to live as a woman. “With Treva, I have the best of both worlds,” says Victoria.
“She is still the love of my life, the same person inside, but now I also have a best friend who I can talk about make-up and clothes with. Of course I was absolutely shocked when she first told me.
“But now we are both going through the journey of her sex change together. I am as thrilled as she is to see her developing breasts and a new figure.”
Treva, who out of desperation to become a woman once took Victoria’s contraceptive pills, says: “Telling Victoria I wanted to change sex was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. It is such a relief that she is standing by me.”
Now the couple even share their wardrobe.
“We both have a huge passion for shoes,” says Victoria. “We often swap clothes – we have the same tastes. We both love casual clothes, although Treva prefers to wear full make-up every day and always has her nails perfectly manicured.”
Treva has also had plastic surgery to look more feminine. The couple took out a £4,500 loan, and seven weeks ago she had an op to make her nose smaller. She also plans to have £3,500 surgery to make her forehead less prominent.
Victoria first met Trevor when they were at school in Boston, Lincolnshire. She was 13, he was 15... and there were no sign he was anything but masculine.
She says: “Trevor was known as a tough bloke who everyone looked up to and no one would cross. I developed quite a crush on him and for a few weeks we had a typical teenage romance with a few stolen kisses.”
But within a few weeks Trevor had left town, signing up with the Royal Engineers. Over the next 23 years he became a Lance Corporal, serving in Bosnia, Kenya and the Falklands.
“I married and had a son, now aged 21,” says Victoria, who works as a carer.
“When that marriage ended I met someone else and had two more children, who are now 10 and six. Trevor also had various girlfriends and married when he was 24.”
But they never forgot each other and kept in touch for those two decades. “Trevor would suddenly ring out of the blue and when he was back on leave we’d sometimes meet up,” Victoria says. “Sometimes years went by when we didn’t see one another.
“When we did, the attraction was incredibly strong but nothing happened because each time one of us was with someone else.”
However, in September 2006 Victoria received an email from Trevor that rocked her world... telling her he wanted to become a woman.
Shocked, Victoria emailed back to ask if he was joking.
But, she says: “When he sent me photos of painted nails I knew it was for real.” Treva says: “Ever since I was a teenager I’d always felt something wasn’t right because I didn’t seem to fit with men or women.
“But in those days there was no information about men who wanted to become women.
“So I kept any feelings to myself. There was no way I could have confided at the time to any of my Army colleagues.
“I’d always had a secret stash of women’s clothes. My first wife had no idea but when she went out I’d sometimes dress up in them and just sit around the house.
“In hindsight it was the only time I felt truly comfortable.”
After the revelation, the number of emails between Victoria and Trevor dwindled. For three years they lost touch altogether and Treva admits she was worried that their friendship had been ruined.
But by May 2010, Trevor’s 15-year marriage had ended and when he emailed her out of the blue, Victoria’s relationship with her youngest children’s father was on the rocks too.
Treva says: “I’d never been able to get Victoria out of my mind. She’d always been the one person I could confide in.”
Victoria was thrilled to be back in touch with Trevor.
She says: “Talking with him I realised it didn’t matter he still wanted to change sex. He was my first love, a soulmate.”
Shortly after Victoria’s partner moved out she started dating Trevor. Then, on New Year’s Eve 2011, Victoria made him up as a woman for the first time. She says: “It was a very intimate moment – and I proposed.
“Years ago Trevor had asked me to marry him but I turned him down because I’d only just come out of my first marriage. Now the time was right. I was delighted when he accepted.”
Within six months she and her children moved to live with Trevor, who was still living as a man at his Army base in Waterbeach, Cambridgeshire.
And in September 2011 they married in a small register office ceremony.
“On our wedding day Trevor was still living as a man... and we made love as man and wife. No one knew our secret but I already knew that I’d support him with his change of sex.”
Soon afterwards Trevor retired from the Army and started to dress as a woman every day.
Victoria says: “I could immediately see how much happier Trevor was as a woman. As a man he was a typical quiet reserved British man but as Treva she was much more outgoing, chatty and relaxed.”
The first step of the transformation was to get rid of body hair. “That took a whole day,” says Victoria.
“Then she began taking my contraceptive pills, which I’d researched on the internet could help male-to-female transsexuals.
“The female hormones helped her to start to grow breasts, softened her skin and thickened her hair.” Then they went shopping together, with Victoria helping 5ft 7in Treva to choose clothes to flatter her figure and apply make-up.
They also visited the children’s school to tell teachers about the sex change.
“We were honest with the children,” says Victoria. “We simply told them that Trevor felt he was a woman trapped in a man’s body and was going to change sex.
“The school has been completely supportive and the children, who still regularly see their dad, who has remarried, have accepted Treva,” she says.
Despite this, Victoria admits she and Treva do sometimes get odd looks and stares when they go out together. “We decided it was because some of Treva’s facial features were still quite masculine. She had a large nose for a woman and we both decided it would look more feminine if she had cosmetic surgery to make it smaller.”
Now, instead of contraceptive pills, Treva takes female hormones, which Victoria has found for sale online.
“As well as breasts, she has a more womanly shape with hips and a smaller waist,” she says.
Treva now hopes to have implant surgery to create larger breasts, and to be accepted on to the NHS waiting list for gender reassignment surgery to remove her penis and create a vagina.
The couple, who live in Peterborough, admit many friends and family were initially shocked. “Trevor was the last man anyone would ever imagine would want to become a woman,” says Victoria.
“But now people have got to know Treva, they are more understanding. In fact some of our friends are old Army colleagues.
“They still call Treva her old Army nickname, Arthur Askey, but no one bats an eyelid now.”
They plan to stay married and Victoria is writing a book about their experience.
Victoria adds: “As Treva has taken the hormones, she can no longer make love as a man.
“But as two women together we still do have an intimate and sexual relationship. To me she is the same wonderful person.
“In fact we are happier than ever together. Trevor becoming Treva has only brought us closer.”
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