Suffering: Emma is struggling to come to terms with her parents' treachery
Emma Rowley thought she had suffered the ultimate betrayal when as an innocent 10-year-old she was sexually abused by her dad.
The man she should have been able to trust with her life stole her childhood in the vilest and most terrifying way.
Eventually he was locked up in a rehabilitation centre for sexual offenders for his crimes. Yet, shockingly, 15 years later Emma suffered an even greater treachery... when she found out that serial paedophile Anthony Rowley, 48, was back in the arms of her mother, Julie Cockersole.
“After what my dad did, Mum was the one person I trusted to help me to get my life back,” says Emma. “All I needed was for her to protect me.
“I never thought I would feel pain like what Dad put me through again, but this has taken it to the next level. I’ve never felt like this. I’m broken.”
Incredibly Julie, 44, who also has a son by Rowley, has brazenly defended the relationship, which was rekindled in secret 18 months ago when her ex-husband was released from a two-and-a-half-year jail sentence. It was the second term he had served for further child sex offences.
And Julie even admits that if it wasn’t against the terms of his parole, he would be back living with her.
“As far as I’m concerned Mum is as bad as him,” she says. “His abuse ruined my life, and by taking him back she has made him think that’s okay. I’ve never felt so betrayed.
“She put her feelings for a convicted paedophile above her feelings for her own daughter. What kind of a mother does that?
“Who could stand to be in the same room as someone who has done that to their child – any child – let alone have a physical relationship with them? I don’t think I’ll ever get over that.”
Emma, of Stoke-on-Trent, has been completely cut off by her family since she expressed her horror at the relationship. She hasn’t seen or spoken to her mum, who lives only 10 miles away, for nine months.
The pain is all the greater because they were once such close allies.
“I didn’t have a happy childhood,” says Emma. “There was lots of rowing and aggression in the house. I hated and feared my dad but I loved my mum. I wanted to protect her because I didn’t like the way he treated her. Then when I was 10, the sexual abuse started.
“I would get out of the bath and get dressed in my bedroom. When I was naked Dad would jump out of my wardrobe. Then he started coming into the bathroom when I was in the bath. I tried locking the door, but he soon took it off the hinges.”
When Emma was 11, Rowley took his vile games to the next level. “Mum was out shopping with my little brother and he put one of his porn films on in the living room,” she says.
“He told me to sit on his lap. He took out a little black lace dress he had bought me. He made me wear it without any underwear and took photos. It became more regular over the next few months. I was scared but he said if I told anyone he would go to prison and it would split the family up.”
She’s says that one day he made her give him a lap-dance like a stripper. “Then he pushed me down to the floor and forced himself on top of me,” she says. “I don’t know where I got the strength but I managed to push him off and I ran as fast as I could until I saw a police station, then I went in and told them everything.”
“Mum would never talk about what had happened but I always thought that was because she was finding it difficult to deal with. I knew she loved me and I didn’t want to upset her so I tried not to bring it up either.
“I went into a deep depression and struggled to cope. I was drinking and taking drugs to numb the pain from the age of 13. I tried to stay out of the house as much as I could so my behaviour wouldn’t upset her and my younger brother.
“At 17 I moved out to live with friends and I thought maybe when we weren’t under the same roof we would be able to build a relationship back up. I longed for a day when we would leave that vile man in the past.”
Rowley went on to attack a young boy in a wheelchair and was later jailed for abducting an 11-year old girl “with sexual intent” in 2009.
When he was released from prison 18 months ago, one day Emma came across phone messages which raised her suspicions.
“They were all signed from my dad. I remember feeling so sick, praying it was one-sided. But I could tell from the tone of the messages he was back in her life. I asked Mum and she didn’t even deny it. She said they were back together and she loved him. She even said I should give him a second chance. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I went mad, hanging up the phone.”
Emma said she was then cut out of her mum’s life. “She’d chosen him over me. The betrayal was unbearable.”
Still deeply troubled, she says the abuse has affected every aspect of her life, and she has been unable to sustain a relationship with a man.
Now she is trying to pick up the pieces of her life... with the help of her new love, Clare Agar, 32.
But she says: “It still hurts me every day. I just pray that Dad won’t do this to another child.”
But she claims that the last thing she wanted to happen was to be forced to choose between serial paedophile Anthony Rowley and her only daughter Emma.
She says of Rowley: “I have always loved him and I always will. It’s not easy to switch that off. I didn’t want to have to choose between them but Emma made me.”
She says that although she came down on Rowley’s side, it’s hard for her. “I know what happened to Emma was difficult and I was angry about it to begin with,” she adds.
“But a lot of time has passed and time is a healer. I want her to put it in the past where it belongs and move on like we are trying to do.
“People will criticise me for the decisions I have made but I know what Anthony is like and I am standing by him.”
She says that it’s tough on her not being able to have Rowley live with her, explaining that her home is opposite a school and so it would be against his parole conditions.
“It’s been hard for us not being able to live together. If he even came on to my street he could be sent straight back to prison,” she says. “I don’t want that – I need him in my life. He has helped me through some very hard times.”
She tells how she remarried after Rowley was convicted of abusing Emma because there was an expectation for her to divorce and move on with her life.
Unemployed Julie, who later split from her second husband, admits she was angry but says: “When Anthony got out of prison and contacted me 18 months ago, the feelings were still there.
“He wanted to make a new life and I had been through a tough time too. We were there for each other.
“I forgave him for what he did because I know deep down he didn’t want to hurt anyone and he felt bad about it.
“We kept the relationship quiet because I knew Emma would react like this.
“I wish nothing more than for her to give her dad another chance. He is sorry for what he did – he wasn’t himself when he did it. We need to move on.”
The man she should have been able to trust with her life stole her childhood in the vilest and most terrifying way.
Eventually he was locked up in a rehabilitation centre for sexual offenders for his crimes. Yet, shockingly, 15 years later Emma suffered an even greater treachery... when she found out that serial paedophile Anthony Rowley, 48, was back in the arms of her mother, Julie Cockersole.
“After what my dad did, Mum was the one person I trusted to help me to get my life back,” says Emma. “All I needed was for her to protect me.
“I never thought I would feel pain like what Dad put me through again, but this has taken it to the next level. I’ve never felt like this. I’m broken.”
Incredibly Julie, 44, who also has a son by Rowley, has brazenly defended the relationship, which was rekindled in secret 18 months ago when her ex-husband was released from a two-and-a-half-year jail sentence. It was the second term he had served for further child sex offences.
And Julie even admits that if it wasn’t against the terms of his parole, he would be back living with her.
She says: “People are going to be angry with me for what I’ve done but they don’t understand – he is a good man and I love him. I’ve loved him all my life – you can’t make that go away.”
But former care assistant Emma, 26, who hasn’t worked for years, will never forgive her.“As far as I’m concerned Mum is as bad as him,” she says. “His abuse ruined my life, and by taking him back she has made him think that’s okay. I’ve never felt so betrayed.
“She put her feelings for a convicted paedophile above her feelings for her own daughter. What kind of a mother does that?
“Who could stand to be in the same room as someone who has done that to their child – any child – let alone have a physical relationship with them? I don’t think I’ll ever get over that.”
Emma, of Stoke-on-Trent, has been completely cut off by her family since she expressed her horror at the relationship. She hasn’t seen or spoken to her mum, who lives only 10 miles away, for nine months.
The pain is all the greater because they were once such close allies.
“I didn’t have a happy childhood,” says Emma. “There was lots of rowing and aggression in the house. I hated and feared my dad but I loved my mum. I wanted to protect her because I didn’t like the way he treated her. Then when I was 10, the sexual abuse started.
“I would get out of the bath and get dressed in my bedroom. When I was naked Dad would jump out of my wardrobe. Then he started coming into the bathroom when I was in the bath. I tried locking the door, but he soon took it off the hinges.”
When Emma was 11, Rowley took his vile games to the next level. “Mum was out shopping with my little brother and he put one of his porn films on in the living room,” she says.
“He told me to sit on his lap. He took out a little black lace dress he had bought me. He made me wear it without any underwear and took photos. It became more regular over the next few months. I was scared but he said if I told anyone he would go to prison and it would split the family up.”
She’s says that one day he made her give him a lap-dance like a stripper. “Then he pushed me down to the floor and forced himself on top of me,” she says. “I don’t know where I got the strength but I managed to push him off and I ran as fast as I could until I saw a police station, then I went in and told them everything.”
Rowley, who has never worked, was arrested and later convicted of indecent assault and sent to the rehabilitation centre for 12 months. He and Julie divorced and soon after, she remarried.
The horror took its toll on Emma’s relationship with her mum, but she lived in hope that time would heal.“Mum would never talk about what had happened but I always thought that was because she was finding it difficult to deal with. I knew she loved me and I didn’t want to upset her so I tried not to bring it up either.
“I went into a deep depression and struggled to cope. I was drinking and taking drugs to numb the pain from the age of 13. I tried to stay out of the house as much as I could so my behaviour wouldn’t upset her and my younger brother.
“At 17 I moved out to live with friends and I thought maybe when we weren’t under the same roof we would be able to build a relationship back up. I longed for a day when we would leave that vile man in the past.”
Rowley went on to attack a young boy in a wheelchair and was later jailed for abducting an 11-year old girl “with sexual intent” in 2009.
When he was released from prison 18 months ago, one day Emma came across phone messages which raised her suspicions.
“They were all signed from my dad. I remember feeling so sick, praying it was one-sided. But I could tell from the tone of the messages he was back in her life. I asked Mum and she didn’t even deny it. She said they were back together and she loved him. She even said I should give him a second chance. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I went mad, hanging up the phone.”
Emma said she was then cut out of her mum’s life. “She’d chosen him over me. The betrayal was unbearable.”
Still deeply troubled, she says the abuse has affected every aspect of her life, and she has been unable to sustain a relationship with a man.
Now she is trying to pick up the pieces of her life... with the help of her new love, Clare Agar, 32.
But she says: “It still hurts me every day. I just pray that Dad won’t do this to another child.”
JULIE'S STORY
Julie Cockersole confesses that despite her ex-husband’s terrible crimes, she has never stopped loving him.But she claims that the last thing she wanted to happen was to be forced to choose between serial paedophile Anthony Rowley and her only daughter Emma.
She says of Rowley: “I have always loved him and I always will. It’s not easy to switch that off. I didn’t want to have to choose between them but Emma made me.”
She says that although she came down on Rowley’s side, it’s hard for her. “I know what happened to Emma was difficult and I was angry about it to begin with,” she adds.
“But a lot of time has passed and time is a healer. I want her to put it in the past where it belongs and move on like we are trying to do.
“People will criticise me for the decisions I have made but I know what Anthony is like and I am standing by him.”
She says that it’s tough on her not being able to have Rowley live with her, explaining that her home is opposite a school and so it would be against his parole conditions.
“It’s been hard for us not being able to live together. If he even came on to my street he could be sent straight back to prison,” she says. “I don’t want that – I need him in my life. He has helped me through some very hard times.”
She tells how she remarried after Rowley was convicted of abusing Emma because there was an expectation for her to divorce and move on with her life.
Unemployed Julie, who later split from her second husband, admits she was angry but says: “When Anthony got out of prison and contacted me 18 months ago, the feelings were still there.
“He wanted to make a new life and I had been through a tough time too. We were there for each other.
“I forgave him for what he did because I know deep down he didn’t want to hurt anyone and he felt bad about it.
“We kept the relationship quiet because I knew Emma would react like this.
“I wish nothing more than for her to give her dad another chance. He is sorry for what he did – he wasn’t himself when he did it. We need to move on.”
No comments:
Post a Comment