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Friday, January 2, 2015

Is this love or madness

I met this guy in Nigeria and i didn’t like him at
all but everyone told me i am crazy to let him go
that he was doing well, responsible home,
educated etc. So i said yes to him and started
dating him, i didn’t have any attraction to him at
all. I complained to my family members but they
said i was being too picky. I decided to give a
serious try and be very commited to him and over
look anything that irks me like his pot belly and
how slow he is to walk and talk.
I was at trying ooh for like 1 year and then when
i was about to leave for my Masters he proposed
but i rejected the ring because i was still not
there with the attraction and at that point i had a
heart to heart with him and told him the reason i
am rejecting the ring is because i am not
attracted to him and I’m constantly struggling to
spend any time with him yet alone get married.
He said he know but that it will come i need a
little time to open up my heart. I left for my
Masters and i was sort of relieved as God should
have it, while i was there i discovered from his
family friend in the USA that the guy lied about
his status, jobs and some family background. I
was so upset with myself and my family members
because it was time wasted for me and how he
tried to deceive me to marry him knowing all the
lies he told to me.
Anyways we broke up after a year of dating, he
kept on trying to contact me and send email, calls
etc. I blocked his calls and emails and just forgot
everything. I was doing my thing for two years
(finished school and got a Job) and in the third
year this same guy pestered my sister in Nigeria
to please give him my number that he just wants
to have closure and beg me for forgiveness. My
sister called me to tell me he has been to her
house and made calls to her pestering for the
number and her husband is beginning to get
irritated.
My sister said NO, but he kept calling she
blocked his number but he always found a new
number to call. Finally, my sister gave into the
pressure and gave him my number and she called
me and explained that we both need closure. I
decided it is cool so we get the closure done so
he can move on. The next thing like 3 months
after she gave him the number this guy calls me
and says in New Jersey let us see. I was like i
will see you close of work tomorrow. After work
we saw at a restaurant and he came clean about
all the lies. I asked him WHY he said it was
because of my family background he lied. Ooh
well not to dwell on the matter i forgave him and
we ate and i left.
I came back to Nigeria last year, he saw me at a
party and started his pursuit again, i told him i
am not interested he says it will come that i am
just angry he lied. I told him point blank that i am
not interested because i have no attraction
towards him. He has refused to listen and still
calls and begs we give it a try. i have blocked all
6 of his numbers and he keeps using new ones to
call, he send me flowers to my office and home as
if we are still together, he send me names of our
kids in messages and some really crazy things.
My mum saw his mum at a wedding and she
hugged my mum and said that thank God our
kids decided to work things out. My mum was
shocked cos it sounded foreign to her. She came
back and asked me and i was like very shocked
that he is so delusional to think we are in any
sort of relationship. I was so mad that i called
him to ask him why he is messing with my life
and telling people we are an item, he says
because he knows we are i just need time to
come around and he will wait for me. At that
point i decided that i will just totally ignore.
Now the scary part on 25th of December this guy
had the guts to wait at my church and when
church was over he embarrassed the heck out of
me, (people will know me from this part of the
story) when i went to get into my car at the
parking lot, i saw this guy kneeling down at my
car with flowers one hand and a ring in another. I
ran away from my car and was crying and i called
my mum on the phone and my sisters and he
came walking towards me and i was running.
People even started running with me because they
were confused to why i was running, they later
led me into church and restrained him from
getting in.
Finally my sisters and parents showed and told
him to respect himself that i do not want. He said
he was taking a leap of faith. My dad warned him
sternly and told him in his exact words “MY
FRIEND ACT LIKE A MAN, MY DAUGHTER SAID
NO”. finally he left and i was too shaken to drive
so my mum got off dads car and drove my car
with me in it. Getting home my mum called his
mother and told her what happened she kept on
apologising and saying that they didn’t know
about it, they only knew he said we have worked
on our issues but they wondered why i didn’t
come to visit them. He kept telling them i
travelled or I’m on a job assignment etc. So they
never knew we are not even an item.
As I speak to you my parents are so scared, that
we agreed that i go back to the USA that he might
not be so well. So come Feb I’m moving back, i
hope this will be the end of my ordeal. Please
trust your instincts always it is a guiding force

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